The less celebrated milestones of childhood (or things it seems my children will never do).

Walking. First words. Sleeping through the night – reliably. Going to the potty successfully. These are the milestones we celebrate and they are truly great. Watching your child take those first bobbly steps and saying goodbye to diapers are worthy of celebration. But I think there are a few more unheralded moments of progress worthy of mention. These are the milestones that you know will occur, but aren’t as dependably on schedule as the biggies. And when they happen? Excellent!

Buckling their own seat belt – When we’re leaving for school we are usually going at 100 mph. Or more accurately, I’M going 100 mph and the kids are going about 7. And when I’m pulling out of the driveway at least one of them announces that she is “not bucklllleeeeed!” When they can all buckle up independently I know it will shave about 70 seconds off my departure time and that will be awesome. Also, I will be able to get into the car without getting sweaty in my bra, another improvement in the general tenor of my day.

Walking down the hall without touching the walls – I’ve seen them walk outdoors unsupported. Why they cannot do this inside the house is a mystery.

Closing the door from the house to the garage – There is no occasion where we leave this door open. Given the frequency with which they open and close their bedroom doors, I know they are familiar with how doors operate. Yet closing this door remains an elusive fantasy.

Putting their shoes away – In the basket. Or in their rooms. Anywhere but on the floor, randomly strewn about the house. Come to think of it, their dad hasn’t reached this milestone either so I don’t know if there’s hope.

Killing a bug when they see it – You know, as opposed to freaking out, screaming, demanding immediate response and refusing to enter the room until the beetle the size of a sesame seed is squashed beyond recognition. Who knew grabbing a wad of kleenex or paper towel and whisking the bug up inside of it (well beyond reach of your actual skin) required so much skill and maturity?

Going to the bathroom then flushing the toilet – The potty part is great. Not coming home at the end of the day to a stinky bathroom is also great. (And to be fair, one of them always flushes the toilet. The other one… not so much.)

Staying at the dinner table for an entire meal – Siting still isn’t my strong suit either, but I can at least make it through dinner without getting up. They cannot.

And here’s one for my dog:

Grow opposable thumbs – He’s charming and cute and all, but it would be great if he could do some sweeping or weeding around the house while we’re gone. I know this will never happen, but a girl can dream, right?


About workingmomslunch

I'm a full-time working mom of three girls. For reasons unknown to me some people think I make this all look easy. In reality, I have no idea what I'm doing. Every day I'm trying to figure out how to get everyone where they need to go on time, what to wear to work that doesn't require ironing, when I'm going to get the dust bunnies out from under the hall table, what we're going to have for dinner and what I might do if I actually had 20 minutes all to myself. Follow along with me as I navigate the oft-charted, but never mastered, waters of working motherhood.
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5 Responses to The less celebrated milestones of childhood (or things it seems my children will never do).

  1. Cathy says:

    Okay how about put their own dishes in the dishwasher and clothes in the hamper. Let’s not forget throwing their wrappers away too. Sigh.

  2. Hannah says:

    …And telling me she’s done eating and wants wiped off and let out of her highchair…. instead of signaling it by throwing every single piece of food onto the floor one by one until I notice! : )

  3. Donna says:

    Heather, I just found your blog, you are an excellent story teller! I keep reading different posts, and I am supposed to be packing us up for Thanksgiving. The boys have a play date and I am making them go outside and play! Nick just told Evan not to use up all the snow, whatever that means!! Have a great Thanksgiving and keep writing, I love it.

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