Despite my somewhat ranting post yesterday – which was so roundly supported by you readers, which made me feel really great – I like to be a positive person. I like to look on the bright side. Find the silver lining. I even own a company called Upside, for pete’s sake. But there is one thing that has got me really feeling down.
Bathing suit season.
If you know me you’re probably saying to yourself what is she worried about? I’m thin. I know. But I’ve had three kids so I also know what this all looks like underneath the clothes. And frankly, it’s not bad as long as I pose on my knees with my back arched and my hands above my head like a Victoria’s Secret model. But that is not really going to work at the beach this summer.
Two weeks ago I tried on the cutest bikini at Target. The caribbean blue color matched my new paddle board, which I liked. It fit well, so I was starting to feel pretty okay about it until Anne started running down the aisle of the dressing room and I bent over to pick her up while standing in front of a mirror. You don’t need details. All I’m saying is that things look fine when you’re standing tall, but bending over to pick up runaway children is pretty much my main activity at the beach and that isn’t looking so good.
My next try was a polka dot tankini. I bought it last week without trying it on because I was in a hurry. It fit fine at home, except for the part where the top was so long that it actually hung lower than the top part of the leg on the bottom. It was like a porn-style golf skirt and it also made me look pregnant. NOT good. I’ll be returning that one, thank you.
The weather is so cold and rainy here that it almost seems like summer won’t come. But according to the calendar Memorial Day is in two weeks. Beach time will be arriving shortly after that. And if last summer is any indication, the hot days will arrive suddenly, without warning, and all I will want to do is take the kids to the beach. But I’m going to need a bathing suit. Yes, I have last year’s, but the elastic is going and the fabric is sagging. It’s better than nothing, but it’s no great shakes.
I’m slowly working my way to bathing suit panic. (That’s because I’ve already been to bathing suit hell if you count my order from Victoria’s Secret that promptly went right back for another $72 in shipping.) Summer simply cannot come until I have a bathing suit. On June 5 I’ve invited family to come to the beach if it’s warm enough following B’s graduation. What am I going to wear? Shorts and a T-shirt? No way! I’m a beach baby from way back and the right bathing suit is my number one summer wardrobe essential.
My girlfriend says there is a Title IV store in Lincoln Park that carries bathing suits and we are working on a field trip there together. Unbelievably (to me, at least) I saw some very cute suits in an LL Bean catalog, so maybe I’ll order up a few and see what happens. Come hell or high water I WILL having a new bathing suit – and soon!
Either that or I’ll just sit around like this all summer: